The Art of the Invitation · Part 6
Follow-through and welcoming them in
Do what you said you'd do, then make sure every new member feels seen in their first week.
The Málaga training kept returning to one habit: do what you said you would do. If you haven't seen it yet, it's available in the Community. Follow-through is where trust is built, and welcoming someone in is the last step of the VIP method.
The agreed check-in
If you agreed to follow up, record it and show up. Keep it short and give them room.
Follow-up after an agreed check-in
“Hi [name], checking back as we agreed. What did you think of the invitation? Happy to talk through anything you're curious about.”
Make it yours
- How would you actually say this? Shift the words to how you really talk, the way you would in a text to this person.
- Who did you agree to follow up with this week?
- What did they say they'd look at?
For example: “Hi Tom, checking back like we said on Monday. Did you get a chance to watch the invitation? Happy to answer anything.”
Keep a short record
The training suggests a simple record for each person: their interest in their own words, the last step (invitation sent, reply received, or leader introduced), and the next step with who owns it. A viewing notification gives you context, and it never replaces a conversation.
When the answer is no, or not now
A real invitation leaves room for a genuine yes or no. If the timing is wrong, thank them and keep the friendship. The liking gap research suggests they probably enjoyed hearing from you more than you think, and that's worth protecting.
Welcome them in
When someone joins, welcome them personally. Then ask the question the invitation ends with: what would you love to create with us? Remember the answer. It tells you how to support them.
The welcome message
“Welcome in. I'm so happy you're here. Introduce yourself to the community when you're ready, and tell me what you'd like to explore first.”
Make it yours
- How would you actually say this? Shift the words to how you really talk, the way you would in a text to this person.
- What do you know they're most excited about?
- Who in the community would they enjoy meeting first?
For example: “Welcome in, Grace. I know you're keen on the travel side, so I'll introduce you to Marie. She's planning a group trip and loves company.”
Say thank you
Kumar and Epley found that people who wrote notes of gratitude underestimated how surprised and pleased the recipients would be, and overestimated how awkward it would feel. A short thank you to the leader who joined your call, or to the guest who gave you their time, lands better than you expect.
For leaders
A public welcome from a leader helps a new member feel seen in their first week. Then help anyone who wants to build start their own list, with the same first step they took.
Welcome a new member publicly
“Welcome to the community, [name]. [Sponsor] tells me you love [real detail]. You'll fit right in here.”
Sources
- Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2018). Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation. Psychological Science, 29(9), 1423–1435. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506
- Boothby, E. J., Cooney, G., Sandstrom, G. M., & Clark, M. S. (2018). The liking gap in conversations: Do people like us more than we think? Psychological Science, 29(11), 1742–1756. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714
- Encounter team training in Málaga, "An invitation worth sharing," 9 October 2026. Available in the Community.
- Encounter invitation narration, "ENCOUNTER | A private invitation" (approved wording, sections 1 to 10, 14 September 2026).